


tomorrow

by kinpika



Series: spectre [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: But it's tucked into everything, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I mean there's sex, Post-Thessia I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24091249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinpika/pseuds/kinpika
Summary: Shepard could feel the world slipping, in that moment.“Show me your hands.”Cloth at the ready. Soapy and probably dragging a little too much over scarred skin, but her skin flushes pink and clean. Rinse and repeat on the other. Up her arms. Washing away the blood and the war and the way she blinks water out her eyes. Slipping.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: spectre [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738051
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> bgm: hands - oceans ahead, shelley harland

Decontamination takes longer than expected. Or maybe, it’s just that the floor isn’t quite there. Floating, familiar feeling, where if she takes a step forward, Shepard is sure she’ll fall. Tongue heavy in her mouth. Slow blink, eyes that threaten not to open once more.

Like autopilot switches on and takes over. Shepard is one foot step in front of the other, through CIC, vision narrowed to the few feet ahead. Voices pick up, calling out to her, ever present monotone of _are you okay?_

No, she really fucking wasn’t, but that was beside the point.

Kaidan has a hand on her back. Guiding her. Towards the elevator, away from the eyes. Something said to Traynor, and if Shepard were in any other condition, she might’ve been bundled up and carried into the cabin. Or the medbay. Or Huerta.

Metal cool against her forehead. Elevator moving; she didn’t press the button. Losing touch, and she rolls her eyes left. Something dark on her gloves again. Again again again. Couldn’t pull it out of the ridges and material by this point. Dark and smelling of iron. If she concentrated, she might be able to see—

Don’t think about it too hard.

When the doors open, Shepard stumbles out. Low thrum. Fingers that brush the dials, turning lights down, only the electric blue of the tank that fills the room. Worked for her, for the headache that threatened to push past her temples. Further in, she goes to remove armour. Finding latches and new scorch marks, old bullet holes. The dip, right shoulder, hit the ground too hard.

Two steps behind. Sound of the door locking, and Shepard hears the sighs. How his boots carry him to the edge of the couch, gauntlets dropping onto the cushions. Good idea, is what she thinks she says. Finds the bed. Can’t move anymore.

Information that filters in as she files and understands. Shoulder bruised. Potential fracture, if she was being honest. Took the fire a little too close to the source, and she’d have to reset her omni-tool.

“Hey, Elle, you in there?”

Kaidan was crouching in front of her. Idle tapping on her knee, as she reached for her amp. Catch and release. Lets out a shudder as she sets it aside. “Haven’t decided yet.”

Half smile. Can feel the twist of lips and squints just a little when he raises his tool up now, scanning over her. Hard lines on his forehead, ones she wants to poke. And does. Smooths them out, before following the lines of his cheek, jaw, chin. Thumb and forefinger, pulls him closer.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

Whispered against his lips. Half a second of protest, before Kaidan kisses her. Soft and open in a way they hadn’t had time to explore. Nudge of noses, pull back. Shepard just wants to rest there, forehead against his. In the ever present, ever growing blue, electricity skittering along the edges of where he touched, as his free hand removed his amp. Lays it down next to hers.

And that dip into the blue fades, as does the creases around his eyes. Time and pressure and her hands in his, deftly removing gloves and arms. Finding shoulder pads, easing them off. Maybe he was mumbling, or maybe it was the solid nothing in her ear, explosion too close to comfort.

Well, all the explosions lately were too close for comfort.

He goes to say something. Lost in how he is reciting procedures. _By the books_. If she was anything other than exhausted, Shepard might’ve quipped they never really operated by the books. If anything, the books were thrown in the fire a long time back. Never really sure where exactly, but it probably was some time around Noveria. Maybe before then. First trip to the Citadel. Smiles over the skyline.

Shepard leans forward then, arms going around his shoulders. Kaidan doesn’t stop in his effort to remove her armour, perhaps a little aware of the lack of space, with how he tries to not elbow her in the process. Chest piece off and looped under arms, tossed aside.

“You should see Chakwas.”

Half a shrug, nails finding the soft hairs along the base of his skull. Outline of his implant, and Shepard makes a move to stand. He leans back, weight on his heels, as she doesn’t move her hands from his shoulders. As Kaidan pops more of the seals around her legs. Letting it all fall aside.

Kaidan looks at her in a way that probably won’t stop embarrassing her. Hadn’t back then, wouldn’t ever. Drags a thumb over his cheek, “join me.” Pulls from his hold, because she couldn’t trust herself not to crumble. Not to falter. Because she wanted to wash the blood that wasn’t there from her skin.

Hands red. Clear, press the sensor for the water. Stripping of last few layers, and everything is crystal. Red. Blue. Shepard closes her eyes, pushes hair from her face. Fight the urge to _fight_ , as the door slides open. For she is safe and warm and Kaidan kisses her shoulder.

“Show me your hands.”

Cloth at the ready. Soapy and probably dragging a little too much over scarred skin, but her skin flushes pink and clean. Rinse and repeat on the other. Up her arms. Washing away the blood and the war and the way she blinks water out her eyes. Slipping.

Her name is pulled from somewhere deep. “ _Elizabeth_.” Kaidan shouldn’t have to play anchor, but right now she didn’t want to be Shepard. And she tells him so, as the cloth falls aside, as her arms find their way around him once more. As he hugs her back, more force than was necessary.

After, she promises, after she’ll see Chakwas. Tell her everything. Let her poke, prod, at the bruises and the mind and everything in between. When everything wasn’t so syrupy and languid, steam filling the room, fan slow to kick in. Filling in little clouds in her mind, making it hard to think anything other than the immediate space, the warmth against her skin.

And she would go when her fingers didn’t find Kaidan’s own wear and tear, pushing against ribs that were a little too purple to be okay. Too much teeth. Bump of noses. Shepard holds a palm against his chest, as he walks her the two steps back, out of the spray of the water. Hair slicked, curls sticking against her forehead, and she kisses him again. A little harder this time, a little more desperate.

Eyes burn. Nails dig in a little too deep. She says, I love you, I love you I love you _I love you_. Too desperate and too real and there’s too much weight, his hand finding her thigh, sliding down to her knee. Against his waist, holds her there. Moves with her.

Shepard cups his cheeks, thumbs that wipe away the stray drops of water. Water and salt. Deep and shuddering sigh, breath fanning over lips. Kaidan whispers it back, voice cracking on the second and third. Like the words just can’t make it over the threshold, because they had been there before. Right at the edge. World exploding around them.

Slow movements. Slow draw. Shepard buries her face in the crook of his neck, meeting each push of his hips. Dragged out. Could’ve been a handful of minutes, could’ve been longer. Moans that are lost into the heat of his skin, Kaidan’s arms tightening around her. Safe and warm. Never red, just _blue_.

Mass effect relay, the crackle snap pop that came with leaving behind another system. Outside, there would be a shower of blue, pushing them through space and time where Shepard could bat an eye. Be somewhere else. Be anyone else.

“Elle—!”

Except that’s _her_ , and she’s here, with a shoulder that aches from holding on too tight, cramp in her hip from landing wrong. Digging her heel into the back of Kaidan’s thigh, as everything tenses, electric rhythm. Open mouthed gasp, against his skin, groaning his name as he moves, harder, faster. Fingers between them, firm circles.

Shepard comes with her head falling back against the wall, Kaidan murmuring her name against the column of her throat. The only noise, besides the water still falling. Eyes squeezed shut, until little stars dance behind her eyelids, and it was time to open. Breathe.

Shampoo, conditioner, one last scrub of skin. Shepard’s fingers work in his hair, while he trails kisses down her chest. Soap and something that was soft on her skin. One of those fancy washes she had time to buy before handing herself over to the Alliance. A little too sweet, but they’re lathered. Back under the water, rinse and repeat. Kaidan’s hands in her hair, working through knots, while she’s fingers spread across his chest. Old scars, new skin.

 _Kaidan_. Closed eyes, tilting her head up towards the spray. Hands catching suds, pushing them off her face. Pressure on her lips. Enough and gentle, to maybe, finally, have her breathe. Shepard isn’t sure who reaches out, to turn the water off. All she knows is that when she moves to find the towels, he’s there. Arms around her waist, following her every step of the way.

Eventually, Shepard has to turn. Wraps the towel around Kaidan’s shoulders. Mindful of the bruises and scars still healing. Never like they used to be, still moving because they could, not because they had to. Levels it around his shoulders, running the edges over his chin, cheek, hair. Static and signed, sealed, delivered with a kiss.

He holds her there, towel draped over her own shoulders when he can. Before they brave the low temperatures of the cabin. Pulling up the ends to catch the last few droplets, lets it fall, just his thumb, stroking her cheek. “I love you.” Soft admission, a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“I love you, too.” _Always_.

Shepard is the first into the cabin, first by the drawers. Pulling out shirts that were too big and not nearly as soft, underwear, shorts. Skin still damp, and she has to sit down on the edge of the bed, to pull it all on. Lose herself in the fabric of the hoodie, pulling up the neck, under her eyes. Deep inhale. His cologne.

With some effort, they manage to get under the sheets. Pillows pulled down, still too soft. Kaidan reaches around, lights dimming, pulling away from the display, before settling down again. Pulls her in too close, arms around tight, tucking his leg over hers.

“I’m setting an alarm. Then you’re seeing Chakwas.”

Voice startling her, Shepard blinks once, twice, before turning just a fraction, trying to find his eyes. Kaidan’s eyes were shut, and she could’ve almost believed he was actually asleep. So she teases, with a muffled, “is that an order?”

One eye slowly opens. Enough for her to turn back around, settling in once more. “Only if you go as well.” Maybe she was doubling back, from before, but Kaidan’s drawn too tight, holding her too close.

A grumble. _Fine_. Barely heard over the way the hood is drawn up over her eyes, but. She smiles. Brings his hands to her lips. For they are clean, and her heart doesn’t beat in her ears. Just the hum, safety of the bed, and Elizabeth does not consider, for half a minute, what was coming next.For tomorrow didn’t exist, not right now.


End file.
